FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags. Is this a cause for concern? This concerns me. According to her, everything is brilliant and wonderful and he is a prince who treats her with respect, love, and affection. I am posting to query how problematic this age difference is considered by mefites, whom I consider a good barometer on this sort of thing. Details about the relationship that may or may not be relevant: She and I were both raised by strict religious mormon parents. We both independently left this religion years ago for saner pastures.
Im very much in love I still get butterflies in my stomach when my bf kisses me, not because he's a 30 year old man, but because im IN LOVE with who he is. May 24, 3, 1 0. Did I miss something here? A 30 year old marrying a 40 year old is not a big deal.
Descartes Lifer. Oct 10, 13, 0 0. Nothing better, imo. Maverick Diamond Member. Jun 14, 5, 0 My cousin married a 31 year old when she was 19 and they divorced after 2 years.
Basically he wanted kids and a housewife and she wanted to finish her masters and get a teaching certificate. Obviously they were in different stages of life when they decided to get hitched. NOW we are the masters!!! Oh yeah, and chicks dig scars Pepsei Lifer.
Dec 14, 12, 1 0. Polgara Banned. Feb 1, 0 0. It was explained to me by a something that when he was 18 he was sexually attracted to 18 year olds.
What you have are well-employed men, building a life, with a good deal of disposable income competing against struggling college students who have a hard time getting money together for a movie. TranceNation Platinum Member. Jan 6, 2, 0 0. Viper GTS Lifer. Oct 13, 37, Draco Golden Member. You said you wanted to be more active, remember?
Just never refer to his age in a bad light because that is his Achilles Heel; it's what his mother nags him about. That means no joking about him being an old man or way, way worse an old fart. Recoils in horror. Heaven forbid you ever, ever, use the f-word! Just understand that his cooking you dinner is not the same as you two cooking together. That being said, early on, a lot of the magic so to speak is due to the appeal of their age.
So just keep your inner-psycho on a leash for a couple months, kay? Some of them are man-children. She is mature as any 20 year old I know. However, I know at 20 years old I still had a lot of growing up to do. She is more mature than me than I was at that age though. So basically, this is a relationship where other than the age difference, there aren't really any huge red flags. The problem is, I don't know how much of a red flag the age difference is.
I'm in my late late 20's and I simply cannot imagine dating a 20 year old under ANY circumstances. She is taking a balanced perspective on this, and she realizes that even though this guy seems perfect now, things could go very wrong and is she is open to more information and perspectives.
So, hive mind- please tell us, how worrisome or problematic is this age difference? I think it's a bit of a concern, but I also think you should mind your own business. You are only going to alienate your sister by telling her who she should and shouldn't date and isn't that exactly the problem with your parents, that they are trying to control her choices?
I suspect this guy might be a lot less attractive if your parents weren't so strict. As long as your sister is using birth control and otherwise taking care of herself, then I wouldn't worry. It's not THAT big of a deal. A lot of young women date older men and get over it when they grow up a little more themselves.
Honestly, the only thing that causes me concern in the facts laid out above is that they work together. There's a reason everyone always says to stay out of office place romances.
In fact, given everything else you say, this sounds like a great relationship. I hope that the workplace stuff doesn't mess it up. Don't worry about the age difference. My default attitude toward that age difference would be skepticism but openness. It's not hard to be in your 30s but at a "place in life" that's more associated with early 20s; if she's relatively mature at 20, that can match up pretty well.
So, yeah, I don't blame you for being a little uneasy over this. Doesn't sound like a problem to me. I think this is so situation specific as to defy a generalization. It sounds like your sister is handling it well and aware of the risks.
If it were me and I were you, I would give my sister support and not comment beyond what you have already. The age difference is big, but if she's as mature as you say she is, and they seem to be good together, it's probably ok.
I would be more worried about what would happen if when?
It's far more likely that she would move in with him than with you, given that she's in school and has a job in her state. That seems like bad news waiting to happen. The worrisome ct would be him ready for a commitment she's not ready for-marriage, kids, etc.
The best thing would be for her to really clarify her goals College? Grad school?
Moving for job opportunities? In general, I wouldn't say that a year-old dating a year-old raises any immediate red flags. I do worry that she's perhaps jeopardizing her current living situation due to point 2. I personally see nothing wrong with pre-marital sex, and even encourage it, but I'm not her parents.
She needs to tread lightly, and perhaps investigate the possibility of moving out before she's forced out. Parents are a lot less likely to find out what a child's sex life is like when the child doesn't live at home.
Better to be out in the open about it than be keeping this sort of thing a secret that may later backfire or be grounds for dismissal. Again, the age difference isn't a big deal, but the circumstances surrounding the relationship may be. What type of position is she in, that is, is she some sort of intern who when done with school will be vaulted into a better position than her counterpart? Is he married or ever been?
The age difference should not really raise a concern, I figure once someone is past say around 23 or 24 and up until 45 ish the only thing age really is is a number, and perhaps you might be slightly better at trivia if you are on the upper end of that range since you have lived a little longer and might be more familiar with older pop things, but other than that it appears you are wanting to make sure his true intentions is to be with your sister and there isn't something you are missing, so I would work with the above questions and go from there.
Most people will say if she's happy don't worry about it, and well this can be true, girls at a frat house who are hopped up on xtacy about to be date raped are happy as well, its only after the high has worn off and the realization about what has occurred sets in are they not happy.
That is, she is happy, which is why she's told you about this to share her joy. Also, are you sure this is not some sort of act of rebellion on her part, and by cluing you in that can be effectuated by you cluing in your parents, she still lives at home and as you note is actively aware it could be cause for disruption of her living situation, but it's possible your parents will still weigh high cost of living and let her stay, just be disgruntled.
My sister is 39 and is married to a guy who is in his 70s.
What of it? They're adults, nobody is forcing either of them, and it sounds like she's being treated well. He may very well treat her better than the immature guys her age will. He's not old enough to be her father, or even a father figure.
Yes, the "they work together" thing and the "they keep it secret" thing are concerning, as is to a lesser extent, for me the "somewhat different ages and stages" thing, but in the secular world, people generally have lots of relationships and most of them don't work out. Finally, a very distant last, verging on something that is only going to be a problem because your parents will look for problems that don't exist 3 the age difference.
Everything you say about your sister and her partner makes me think the age difference is something they are going to handle well. If it helps you to get past the age difference, remember this guy was in his twenties a few months ago. Without any evidence that this guy is mistreating your sister or using her, I wouldn't be worried, especially if your sister is mature and generally makes sensible decisions about important things.
I have been involved with someone eight years younger than me, and our relationship is both stable and long term. Honestly, I'd be more worried about the possible repercussions of dipping the pen in company ink than anything else given the facts you've presented.
But it sounds like they're aware of those risks, too. Well, I understand five years can make a lot of difference, but my mom stepmom actually married my dad when she was He was nine years older, and they are still happily married, 35 years later. They came from a similar conservative background to yours.
Does your sister's boyfriend understand or identify at all with your sister's background? Is marriage sometime in the next few years a possibility, or no?
Jan 07, Because those cologne-wearing, Dolce-upgraded, French-press-drinking, something hunks are a whole different animal. Here's everything you need to know about dating a year-old in your 20s: accessory-source.com: Elite Daily Staff. The rule states that it is acceptable for year old women to date men who are up to 46 years old, but in reality, year-old women state that their . Feb 14, In general, I wouldn't say that a year-old dating a year-old raises any immediate red flags. I do worry that she's perhaps jeopardizing her current living situation due to point 2. I personally see nothing wrong with pre-marital sex, and even encourage it, .
Does he have a sexual background way different from hers? The age difference in itself is not a problem.
Problems arise only if they have different expectations or assumptions about how their relationship will work out. Things like money, in-laws, religion, kids are more important than age as she considers possible relationship roadblocks. It sounds like this guy is great, so I'd say she should continue dating him while keeping her eyes open and figuring the rest of this stuff out.
I'm sure she still has some growing up to do; all year-olds do, even the mature ones. So why would it serve the purpose of helping her grow up by convincing her to remove herself from a situation that We learn by doing; we grow by experiencing. If things "go wrong" and relationship ends, then she'll learn and grow from that.
Not having your first relationship work out is not the worst thing that can happen to someone; sometimes, it can be the best. What you can imagine is right for you is not what is right for everyone else.
20yr VS 30yr Old FEMALE DATING STRATEGIES To WATCH OUT For! ( RED PILL )
This is a good approach. This happened, they're in love and he's treating her well by all accounts. She just needs to make sure she's treating him well.
20 and 30 year old dating
The age difference is is something that will bother other people, but if it doesn't bother them, then that's fine. In the end, it's their relationship and they, not the world or even you, have to be happy with it. This might sound a bit out of left field, but is it possible that some of your Mormon upbringing might still be affecting your thinking a bit?
Jul 30, If you've dated an older man - think 30 to 35 years old - you'll have experienced how a man 10 years older than you is exponentially Author: Anne Storer. Aug 11, Source(s): 20 year happy dating 30 year old: accessory-source.com 0 0 0. Login to reply the answers Post; Leannain. Lv 6. 1 decade ago. I was a 20 year old dating a 30 year old and it was great; but it was much less great when I was a 37 year old married to a 47 year old. No, but mainly because 20 year old girls are in college and/or leading a totally different life than 30 year old guys. A 30 year old guy and a 25 year old girl is a bit more reasonable. level 2.
I say this only because my extended family has a healthy serving of observant Mormons, and there is a cultural pressure to marry strong view of sex outside of marriage as extremely sinful, leading to many people marrying in their early 20's. You may be unwittingly seeing that a guy who is single at 30 as a bit of a red flag- because it's a bit unusual for Mormon guys to make it to 30 still single- so you might be unconsciously wondering if there is an issue that makes him not great relationship material.
Dating someone you work with is always fraught with issues, as others have said. And no matter how discreet they think they are being, people may still guess, because some people have a sixth sense about that kind of thing, and other people are not as good at hiding things as they think they are.
Apr 08, Im almost 22, and im dating a 30 year old guy! It DEFINATELY has to do with maturity. guys Ive dated in my past don't have any stability . Jun 11, On the other hand, some people act way different when they are 30 versus Then it would not make sense if the 30 year old was dating a girl . Find over Singles 20's & 30's groups with members near you and meet people in your local community who share your interests.
One of the great things about being a year-old woman is getting to date year-old men. My husband is 6 years older than me, and we met when I was I'm glad I found him, but I'm also glad I had the experience of dating casually when I was younger. He sounds great and she sounds like she knows her shit. Everyone's got a lot of growing up to do. You live and learn and live and learn. I don't think you should necessarily be worried about the age difference, unless there are other warning signs.
Lots of female friends of mine in college dated guys in their 30s and survived. The only warning she should have is that people in their 30s often want to settle down. Make sure she's thinking consciously about what she wants to accomplish in the next 5 years or so graduate school?
I don't see the problem here, in that it seems to be a mutually respectful relationship. Sure, dating coworkers can cause problems, but in the long run it's no big deal. As for parents who may kick her out of the house, this is a separate issue. One of the great things about being a year-old woman is getting to date year-old men as a counter to this - i found the closer a guy was to my age, the more disrespectful and crappy he was.
As long as there isn't a significant power imbalance I don't see anything significant wierd about the relationship. Regarding parents: I'm guessing they would kick her out if they found out she was having sex with anyone, so the age thing is almost irrelevant here.
Regarding work: dating coworkers is always a minefield, again the age difference is secondary. So, that being said I guess the only thing to base the relationship on is My in-laws who married latter in life are about 20 years difference.
20 year old woman dates 30 year old man, WTF?
My first gf was 9 years older than I Yeah you said it isn't an option but I was 22 when I met my thenyear-old boyfriend, now my husband.
As with other posters, the only thing that concerns me is that they work together. That could get weird fast, or it could be the source of a bad power dynamic. None of us here can know that, though. Whether or not this is a mistake isn't something any of us can know, either.
In retrospect I understand why both of those relationships didn't work out, but on the other hand, both were good for me in their own way and I learned about myself. So, as long as she's not being played by an older dude for sex, she's fine, and even if she is being played by an older dude for sex, she's fine, since being played by dudes for sex is basically a round the clock risk of dating.
I don't see a problem. The only problem I would see would be if he didn't have an education, had financial problems, or some drama in his life. I know women who married guys who were more than ten years older than them, and frankly, there was a big benefit to being with someone already financially established, chiefly, being able to have kids younger rather than waiting until there's more income.
I was a 20 year old dating a 28 year old. Now I am a 27 year old happily married to a 35 year old. In our case, it worked out beautifully and things are pretty great with us. I am so, so glad I ddin't reject him just because of his age.
Just a data point. But, I would not have dated him while living with my parents or while working with him.
ABSOLUTELY not and I strongly do recommend it (criticism of females will shoot at me shortly BUT pulls up the middle finger and speaks the truth) you cant even imagine the big gap in sexual appetite between males and females (healthy men with at.
Too much pressure - if things go wrong and your parents find out and she has to move in with you, would she have to switch schools and jobs? There is so much on the line here; I think the age difference is not the biggest concern. I'm much more concerned about her living under your parents' roof and risking her living situation than I am about the age difference.