First thing you should know about me is that I'm a hopeless romantic. So this next thing I'm about to say might come as a bit of a shock: I feel that the word "love" is used too much and often incorrectly in relationships today. Now hear me out for a second, saying "I love you" is important but it is more important to actually mean what you say. Am I cold-hearted? Maybe a little bitter?
Couples who respect each other do not resort to such procedures. Fifth, both during the dating period and after marriage, do not smother one another with excessive restrictions. Remember a kind and loving Father-and I guess it was a hundred years ago today that we were sitting around talking about that council in heaven and all those things that had happened thousands of years before, and we were getting ready to come here. As we looked to Father, we could see the trust in his eyes.
And we knew that we would be operational here upon the earth in a great environment of freedom. Then why do we sometimes try to take that freedom away from those we love so much? A loving wife of many years shared with me one of the secrets of her beautiful marriage.
As you know, he is a busy businessman, a bishop, and a father. In turn, he helps me reach my potential. She later served as a counselor in two auxiliary presidencies. She had a little place in their home where she could sew and where she painted lovely paintings and wrote beautiful poetry. He felt comfortable in going fishing, lowering his golf score, doing some painting himself, and growing in ways that interested him.
Neither of these marriage partners was being smothered by a selfish mate. And as you think about that eventual responsibility that you will have of raising children, keep that concept in mind. If you will give them gobs of freedom, almost beyond logic sometimes, they will grow in precious ways that will give them the confidence to do what needs to be done.
They are interested in one another, and yet they set each other free to grow and mature-never free to flirt, but free to take on new challenges and to pursue new interests. Jealousy is a subtle form of bondage and is the most smothering of human passions. We must allow each other plenty of room for personal growth and expression. When both partners are able to develop their talents and interests, the marriage is less likely to suffer from boredom and narrowness.
Sixth, compliment each other sincerely and often, just as you do or will do during the dating period. He gets so much attention from others that he needs to be brought down a peg or two. He gets too big for his britches. Every husband needs a wife who will build him up, and every wife needs a husband to honor and to respect her. Building each other with sincere compliments is never a sign of weakness. It is the right thing to do. Anyone who can contemplate kneeling at an altar, participating in an eternal ordinance-or those who have-can certainly find lovely things to say about a partner.
How I wish he or she would come back. The loneliness is unbearable. I neglected to tell him or her so many things. Oh, if only I had let her or him know how good she or he was in so many ways. What a fool I was! I could never learn to compliment and to build.
I was always pointing out her or his mistakes. I want to tell them to quit their sarcasm and instead to encourage each other. We all tend to become the persons described in the compliments that our spouses and friends pay us. We will do almost anything to live up to the compliments and encouragements of a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a proud wife or husband. Let me tell you a story about a man who received his PhD from this institution. We had known this person for a number of years.
He married later than many, and as we watched him relate with a young woman, we wondered if she could keep up; we wondered if she had the capacity to understand life as he had learned it because he was more than several years older. Then, as we observed that couple at social functions and elsewhere, we saw that he would take time to carefully instruct her.
As he returned from classwork, he would bring home books for her to read and to study. As they took long walks, they were constantly teaching each other. What a beautiful marriage and what a lovely family they now have because they have taken the time to compliment and to build each other! They are serving now in the mission field together, there because of his sensitivity and because of her sensitivity, there because they desire to build one another.
As a seventh recommendation, in dating or in marriage, never resort to the silent treatment. Always be open and straightforward with each other. Too often we may respond to tensions by clamming up or by taking a walk. A young wife in the southwest corner of Salt Lake County asked me to talk with her husband. He just walks out the door. He can go on for days or even a week or two without saying a word.
Ten keys to successful dating and marriage relationships
Let me work it out by myself. What is marriage if it is not sharing and helping one another through crises? Keep the door to your heart open. The times when we shut others out are often the times when we need their help the most. Of course we need times of privacy, to think alone. Of course we need time to pray and to meditate. And we should understand and respect these needs in others. However, we should never be inconsiderate or unappreciative of a concerned husband or wife who is trying to help at a time of trouble and discouragement.
Even when cheating has occurred, we must be willing, under most circumstances, to accept their true repentance. Thousands of marriages have survived the most critical problems and have been successful only because godly sorrow for sin was followed by Christlike forgiveness.
A woman was referred to my office for a blessing for the restoration of her health. She had been ill for seven years. She had had exploratory surgery three times, had been in the hospital a number of times, and had switched doctors more often than annually.
And I declined to give her a blessing when the Spirit said there was nothing wrong physically. Brothers and sisters, you can imagine what an awkward position I found myself in, having to say no. As we talked, she mentioned that several years earlier, during a very difficult time in life, her husband had not given her the attention that she needed, and he was sitting next to her.
She had not been pleased with his behavior and had carried with her a scarred heart, emotions that had been disrupted and confused, and she was bitter. Now wait just a minute, Elder Pinnock. I placed my hands upon her head and gave her a blessing that she could love and forgive, at that time not sure if it was her husband, but it seemed to be.
About ten days later the telephone rang. I have thought a great deal about it since then, and I believe that is your problem. She walked in a changed woman. Ninth, remember never to turn to a third party in time of marital trouble except to your bishop or branch president. In sensitive and inspired ways he will direct you to a competent counselor if that is what is needed.
Someone is always ready and eager to consult a hurting wife or husband, and when marriage partners have no one to talk with at home, unfortunately, too often they seek a friend elsewhere.
And that, dear brothers and sisters, is where almost all adultery has its origin. It can happen in the neighborhood, in a ward choir, at the office, or anywhere else. Secret affairs begin innocently enough just by talking about mutual hurts, but then comes a dependency period that too often ends in transferring loyalty and affection, followed by adultery.
Never ever, never ever, confide your marriage troubles to a third party, no, not even to your closest friend. He or she may be the first to tell your troubles to another, becoming the one to hurt you most severely. Lean on the Savior and rely upon your bishop and your stake president. Remember that because, as the years quickly come and go, there will be stressful times when you will need to talk to someone. Remember who it should be. The system which the Lord has given us is simple.
It works. Tenth, have clean, wholesome fun during your dating years and retain the same joy in marriage.
God intends for us to find joy in life. Man is that he might have joy. Most marriages begin with joy, and those that succeed retain it. Last Thanksgiving we went up to Bear Lake. We have a little farm home there.
Dec 23, Chemistry and physical attraction may have brought you and your partner together, but you need more than a spark to maintain a happy, lasting relationship. With that in mind, we asked marriage therapists to share the one quality they believe couples need to develop in order to stay together for the long haul.
My wife and I began a tickling contest. I am a world-class tickler. I am one of the greatest ticklers that has ever lived. Well, as we were laughing and giggling, in came the children. Soon they joined in and we had a great time. When a marriage loses its happiness, it becomes weak and vulnerable. Find a happy home, and you will find a joyful couple at the helm.
Husbands and wives who no longer laugh and play together are losing their fondness for each other and perhaps even their capacity to stay together. True love includes a joyful, almost childlike quality. In other words, live it up-righteously. It is a gloomy moment in the history of our country. Listening involves our hearts. Open yours, hear what she says, look at her while she speaks, paraphrase even, and reassure. Listening is the real key to a happy marriage, for that matter, to every relationship.
Being good together does not mean that couples agree on every little thing. Most of the couples we interviewed actually had varying attitudes, opinions, and belief systems; and even held opposing views on major areas in some cases. All couples should have some level of disagreement somewhere.
Successful, loving couples respected the point of view of one another and even had a sense of humor over their points of contention. Remember, respect is one of the major elements of a successful marriage.
Romantic relationships are dyadic interactions, and as such, they are ever-changing and intensely complex. The recipe for a successful marriage isn't fully clear, but this sample of . Jan 01, Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears. Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. They remember that they married an imperfect person - and so did their spouse. A crisis doesn't mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a. Ten Keys to Successful Dating and Marriage Relationships Dedication to Successful Marriage. Several years ago, while visiting in Florida, Belief in Eternal Marriage. First of all, consider the concepts that we have Spirituality. Second, the world does not understand spirituality or the.
Recognize that of two opposite views, one of them does not have to be right. There are several books out there on the Languages of Love.
My friend do not Ten Keys To Successful Dating And Marriage Relationships And Marriage try to use money to get sex from women. There is a 37 year Ten Keys To Successful Dating And Marriage Relationships And Marriage old man who has a child, and describes himself as an old fat balding ginger/ As a seventh recommendation, in dating or in marriage, never resort to the silent treat- ment. Always be open and straightforward with each other. Too often we may respond to tensions by clamming up or by taking a walk. A young wife in the southwest corner of Salt Lake County asked me to talk with her husband. Apr 28, 15 Key Secrets To A Successful Marriage 1. Be independent. Independence was rated 'extremely important' in a marriage. 2. Be a good listener. We need to talk. Most partners dread this sentence but do you know 3. Agree to disagree. Being good together does not mean that couples agree on every.
This was developed of the concept in psychology that each individual has his or her own unique way in which they communicate love.
This could be, washing your car, or picking up the kids. From her, it could be keeping the toiletries stocked and ironing his shirts. For others, its words, letters, and affection. Our advice for a successful marriage?
A major relationship killer, lack of acceptance is a trait more commonly attributed to women, who are known for their nagging. Remember, we married our spouse for who he was then, and who he is now. The key to a successful marriage lies in realizing this as soon as possible. When urging or persuading him, you are only focusing on his weaknesses or problems.
Change your perspective immediately and start focusing on positive traits instead. It is that easy and one of the secrets of a successful marriage. When you participate in a project, take responsibility for your successes and your failures.
Hugh W. Pinnock
When you and your partner have a disagreement or argument, remember to take responsibility for your actions, including anything you did or said, especially if it was hurtful, unthoughtful or created adversity. Taking one another for granted may be the most toxic pathogen of all. Once they are comfortable, it is easy for couples to begin to slip into a complacent state - and expectations form.
This is actually only a matter of human nature, as we get comfortable with what is familiar, but in marriage, you absolutely should never come to a place where you take your partner for granted. Pledge to respect your partner indefinitely no matter what.
Avoid assumptions, and offer to do nice things for your partner whenever possible.
Being truthful and honest is major when it comes to relationships. A relationship built on false hope and white lies will only crumble in the end, no matter how much you love the other person. Being honest leads to good communication, which can strengthen many cts of a relationship. Image not available. This image has been deleted by the accessory-source.com: Brooklyn Neustaeter. 7 keys to making your love last. Most of us want to meet and settle down with the "right" person, and most of us want such a relationship to last. Yet 53of marriages in the U.S., 48in Canada, 47in the U.K., and 43in Australia end in divorce. 10 Keys to a Successful Romantic Relationship 1. Tell your partner you love them. Although it's true that actions speak louder than words, 2. Show some affection. Small acts of physical intimacy - the hand on the small 3. Show appreciation for your partner. Let Author: Dustin Wax.
Most successful marriages have partners who vouch for this. Among the other tips for a successful marriage, this tip is the most ignored and overlooked by couples, especially those who have been married for a while. It does not matter what a couple does on their date night.
Simply having a night when they spend their time just with each other strengthens the bond and maintains it over time. When you have a date night, you should turn your phones off and put them away so you are free of distractions. Watch a movie at home with popcorn or go hiking or rollerblading together. Change it up often and be helpful and positive for one another. A romantic and thoughtful date night is not just one of the steps to a successful marriage but indeed one of the main ingredients of a successful marriage as well.
It is important to schedule this monthly if not weekly in order to maintain accountability and establish a pattern of importance in regard to date night. Wondering how to make marriage successful? Go old school with your romance. Romantic acts can be many - try giving her a flower someday or place a love note in his briefcase or backpack.
Surprise him with his favorite meal, or watch the sunset together. Sex is very important to a healthy marriage. We suggest keeping it interesting by talking about what pleases you and adding any fantasy role-playing, positions, or bedroom props you may want to introduce to keep it exciting. Life coach Giovanni Maccarrone talks about how making this one conscious decision before getting married can be helpful in making a marriage successful.
Stay positive, and keep track of what your spouse does well.
15 Key Secrets To A Successful Marriage
When the going gets rough and his not-so-great attributes come forward, rather than focusing on the negative, try switching gears, and point out the positive stuff instead.
We often just use anger as a disguise to protect our vulnerabilities. We are often searching for tips for a successful relationship but fail to realize that a simple thing such as identifying the reality of emotions can keep us on the right track. Unfortunately, we are socialized to believe in fairytale endings and we may carry some false perspectives on reality with us into adulthood. We need to recognize that, while marriage can be a beautiful thing, it is not effortless, nor will it ever be perfect.