It is estimated that million people suffer from clinical depression worldwide. Symptoms of depression include a general disinterest for life, self-loathing, irritability, lethargy, mood swings, hopelessness, reckless behavior, and loss of interest in friends, family, and loved ones. Not exactly great qualities to bring into a relationship. But chin up, buttercup all is not hopeless! Dating someone with depression can be fine if you are informed and educated about it. You need to have an outlet for your feelings as much as your mate does. Go out with your friends, exercise, grab a drink, laugh, watch YouTube videos, make coffee dates, take classes, try something new - do YOU!
Depression is a complex illness that affects mood in myriad ways.
Recognizing their illness for what it is is essential to being an ally. Discounting their feelings by automatically attributing them to depression only serves to hinder honest conversation and emotional connection. It is heartbreaking to see someone you care about in pain, and your natural reaction is probably to try to make it all okay. But depression is not cured by love or kindness.
The truth is that there are no quick fixes for depression. However, there are many things you can do to support someone struggling with depression. Figuring out what those things are requires open communication.
Ask them what they need from you to make them feel supported. Ask them what their triggers are, what they do to cope, and what part they want you to play in their coping strategies.
What helps them may be very different than what helps someone else and honoring their individual needs is important, even when what they need is to not have you do anything at all. Allow the person you are dating to have their feelings. I feel sad because XYZ happened. Mystery solved!
Depression in Relationships: When to Say Goodbye
Being open and understanding about these issues is vital to nurturing your relationship. After all, your bad day at work seems like nothing compared to mental illness.
You cannot turn it off because your partner is depressed, nor should you have to.
Feb 26, The person with depression would love to receive this kindness as it is, but their depression has set up a series of negative filters. By the time the kind words reach the person with depression, the filters have mutated it into something negative such as . May 21, Because depression can severely affect a person's ability to get up in the morning and live their lives, it can make dating - something that literally requires you to function pretty well - a Author: Theresa Massony. Sep 05, Depression interferes with dating and romantic relationships in a number of ways, says Dr. Sue Varma, a psychiatrist and clinical assistant professor at the NYU Langone School of Medicine.
Make sure you have your own supports in place that give you space to express yourself, such as friends, family, and support groups. Find a healthy way to get the stress out.
Recognize the hard work your partner is doing and be their biggest cheerleader as they seek the help they need to heal.
Tell them you are proud of them for going to treatment and respect their limits when it comes to talking about what they are doing in therapy. Some people will be very open about what they are learning and discovering, while others prefer to keep it private. Whether or not you feel comfortable bringing this up will, of course, largely depend on your level of intimacy; telling someone to seek residential treatment on the second date, for example, may not elicit the best reaction.
Sometimes, your partner may threaten to commit suicide if you leave them. This is a serious situation, one that requires immediate attention, but the right kind of attention. The threat of suicide during the breakup should not compel you to stay in the relationship.
You cannot be the one who makes your partner decide whether or not they want to live or die. That is up to them.
A therapist may be able to provide perspective that neither of you can manage on your own. You may find that, despite depression, the relationship is worth saving.
Counseling can provide the tools you need to heal and move forward as a couple.
If counseling fails, at least you can walk away knowing you gave it your best shot. Try to make your partner understand that you still care. Wish them the best, but say that you need to make a clean break for your own sake.
Say goodbye and leave without regrets, or excessive drama. Remind your partner to continue with his or her treatment. You deserve a chance at happiness, too.
If you think someone is considering suicide, get help from a crisis or suicide prevention hotline. Try the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at The breakup of a relationship, or a marriage, can be a traumatic event. While it may be painful to say goodbye, keep in mind that breaking up can have positive results, too. Research shows that keeping a journal, in which you express your feelings about your breakup, may help turn a potentially negative experience into a positive one.
Dating a person with clinical depression
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Instead of operating on assumptions, ask your partner what he or she needs. Get creative with activities and date ideas that call for both of you to be actively engaged in making it a success.
Trying to fix them or making your partner into a project will only make matters worse and lead to relationship dysfunction. You are there to offer support and love. Such knowledge can be painful. You may feel powerless, avoidant, worried, or emotionally depleted at times.
These are normal emotions associated with loving or caring for someone with depression. Your role is to be supportive while balancing your own needs, which means taking care of yourself is equally important.
Maintain realistic expectations and remember you are just one person. Practice self-care and show up for yourself.
Breaking up with your partner can be downright painful. Learn about when it's time to say goodbye in a relationship involving a depressed person. Dating with depression carries the added burden of figuring out when and how much to reveal about your condition to the person you're dating. To tell or not to tell. We answer this question and offer expert advice on the art of courting with chronic depression. Only 18, . Aug 16, Dating can be a challenge when you suffer from depression. That said, meeting a new person can also be a source of joy. These 10 simple tips can help make dating a bit easier.
The 7 strategies above will make your relationship stronger. Counseling is a valuable outlet for processing emotions, fostering deeper understanding, and enhancing relationships.
You can reduce the stigma by speaking up and remaining open to outside help. Rachel Dack is a licensed clinical professional counselor LCPC and relationship coach specializing in individual and couples psychotherapy. Rachel's areas of expertise include relationships, dating, mindfulness, anxiety, depression and self-esteem. To connect with Rachel or to learn more about her psychotherapy and relationship coaching services, please visit www. Women's Dating.