Your chances of scoring a date are high is you suggest meeting at a bar. Danes are at their most sociable in bars. Plus, many Danish bars have long wooden tables that can be shared by more than one group of friends, so grab one and get into a conversation. Tip: talk with the friends of the person you like before giving your crush extra attention. This is not the case in Denmark. Here, it is quite common for women to make the first move, a custom which could be attributed to the fact that Danish society has been built on an egalitarian model-everyone is considered equal.
I never call anyone either. I hate talking on the phone. Life often offers some great surprises. In Scandinavia it is considered unmanly to talk a lot. Young men in Scandinavia learn from an early age not to scream to much when hurt and not to show emotions unnecessarily.
It is acceptable to talk a little and to show some emotions, but in general it is much more manly to stay silent. The problem is that men in Scandinavia think that they are the most attractive when they are silent with a slightly arrogant pose. Unfortunately I am not certain that they are wrong. I agree. In general, we do bring up little boys to be silent. I read your post and some of the comments and must say am genuinely surprised. Am a non-Scandinavian girl and my Swedish boyfriend courts me by taking me out, to restaurants and cinemas, bringing me flowers and picks up the bill.
He tried once to go Dutch in the beginning but I explained him it was cheap and he never tried again. I also told him right at the beginning that I never have sex and only make love in a commited relationship, and he offered me to marry him 6 months after that even before we actually made love.
I think that a problem of all the girls in the world including those dating with the Scandinavian guys is settling for less. Set your rules, stick to them, and see the world revolving around you, not vice versa. Of course if a guy can have an uncommitted sex, he will go for it. Athena, with all due respect that does not exactly work always usually that way in Nordic countries.
In fact, a girl or woman might get offended if she was treated unequally. She might very well find that condescending and insulting. Everyone is flattered by pampering one, naturally.
As far as I have seen, it appears that courting couples return the favours. Every person is an individual, of course. But many would consider not getting to know each other as in sexual intercourse borderline stupid. There are always pros and cons. I myself sometimes consider some beliefs stupid, and my beliefs can easily be considered stupid by others. Majority changes over time. If women start refusing one night stands, men will have to adjust their approach to what is considered stupid and what is not.
Obviously, if a man is interested in you, he will adjust.
If not - get out of the queue, next one please. But that leaves me with one question. Not a single comment from a woman seeing one night stands as something they would prefer to pampering. Males would like pampering at times as well.
Or some kind of Don Juan or Casanova. Girls being rough and masculine leads to men automatically switch roles and being awkward and feminine? Athena, I think you are underestimating the males here. Many like strong women or tomboys, if you will. They are easier to treat as equals. And the best thing for a lasting relationship is being equal friends. Also, if you say a male switches role to the more feminine one, that is utter poppycock, unless he has serious problems with self-esteem.
So now I am curious. I left few comments at the beginning of the year as this helped me understanding these Vikings, so different and so cold compared to where I came from. Let me tell you somethingI am a woman and I come from Southern Europe, but my parents always taught me to pay my own way and not to wait for the other people to do so.
Are these your values? Is this what are you going to teach your children one day? To use other people and their money?
I say thumbs up Joona, I am with you. But then I have one question Athena - I came here because I was oblivious to the Scandinavian way of thinking. He has managed to be romantic, and wonderful, many times, maybe sometimes with the help of a tiny extra glass of wine, but you know what? Everything that was said and done came from his heart. Heh, none taken. Many Finnish male names end in a wovel. Many western names are etymologically from the Bible.
I also love my second name IIvari, as it comes from the Norse Ingvar.
A Varangian explorer an warrior, who met his fate trying a bit too much to piss off the Estonians and Fins. As your question, yes, it is easy to make me madly in romantic love. Now that we are married I of course pamper him. Not with money - we just have a joint account - I let him be the main decision maker when he wishes so. I try in general take care of him - to boost his self esteem, to praise him in front of his friends and to show respect to him in front of his colleagues.
I stumbled upon this blog when I was looking for the information about how to better treat Scandic men. I have never been interested in this before but now I just want to return back all the waterfalls of adoration he has rained on me.
The next day he was frustrated. Talk with the guy about it, that is always the best advice.
Scandinavians are really bad with that so dont expect him to start that conversation. It might also be that he is only in the UK for a while and just wanna have fun while there, ie no serious relationships.
This is especially likely if he seems like the player type, who flirts with a lot of girls. Thank you for writing this! I hope! The good thing is that very few Scandinavian guys will hold that against you and most of them will be thrilled by not having to take the initiative. I am norwegian. And this is SO true. So so so so true. Right on the nail with this one. It all resolves itself on a night on the town or a party at someones house. I think most of my gay friends have met their significant other on various dating sites.
But then, so have so many of my straight friends. I feel there is one small thing lacking. Haha, indeed.
Haha, yes. I remember that awkward talk clearly. And then we had another awkward talk. Haha, my husband and I just sort of moved in together and never really discussed what was happening.
Haha, so true! My sambo and I both Swedish started our relationship by having casual sex, the he moved in and we lived together for three months before we even had that conersation. If I remember it correctly, it went in the lines of: Him: So, eh we are like serious now? The mporning after u are scared again.
As a Scandinavian guy in his thirties I have to say that most of this is spot on. Approaching a stranger with such intentions is disrespectful for most Scandinavian males. She may feel uncomfortable, she may be busy, be with friends, already in a relationship, even become afraid by such advances.
I agree with you. Scandinavian men are showing women a lot of respect by not approaching complete strangers who have shown absolutely no interest.
Alcohol works as a liquid courage for both men and women. You mean I should approach a girl only if she looks at me in the eyes and we smile at each other?
I also noticed that some people got bothered by me just greeting at them. Yeah, I think you have it right there.
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And even if you do strike a casual conversation, make sure to keep it light and on innocent topics - football or the weather. You can go to work and not think about flirtation but just focus on doing your job.
I would love to hear how your challenge goes. Sex works out just fine the international language and all thatbut dating and relationships? Well, my goal is exactly this - to find love in Norway!
If not - you were right! That sounds great! I wish you a great time here. And really, if you know about our social awkwardness, you might just be able to overcome it. I had NO idea what to do and just wanted them to go away. And, at the end of the day, Norway is a great country to live in.
This is great! Have been trying to explain how different it is in Scandinavia compared to Canada, where I have lived for 7 years now, and I could never have expressed it as logical as you. From now on, I will send anyone who asks me out a link to this non-dating dating guide.
I wish I had a guide like this to hand out when I lived in California when I was younger. Our way of non-dating does sound strange to people used to dating rules but I kind of like it. But still more simple in scandinavian. Although most of it is mostly true, it is kinda a truth with modifications. We usually meet people through already established friends, and many many people meet through like voluntary places like festivals, student places etc.
Oh, there are definitely modifications. As fighting for a relationship Norway - USA we both loved your article that in a wonderful way set the finger on our cultural differenses. I met her first time in Only 5 days, but she was stuck in my brain. Found her on Face, had a relationship a year now on net, visited her once.
Hard to fight the cultural difference. Aaaww, that sounds sweet. It looks like the author has little knowledge of dating in Scandinavia. Well, this was written for my foreign friends last summer after they kept asking me questions about Scandinavian men.
I tried to make it fun and I painted with a big brush. Of course, this does not describe each and every Scandinavian man or woman. Yesterday I suddenly had 20, people reading this blog post and I had no idea what had happened - and I was a bit worried about my little thing being spread to a lot of people not understanding the thoughts behind the blog post. Ah well. It does not describe the actions of 20 million Scandinavians. That really goes without saying.
This is how most Swedes behave. But one point I believe that is sorely missing from the article is that lower self-confidence is a big factor in how many Swedes behave when it comes to relationships.
I personally believe that this self-confidence, coupled with a cultural strive for humbleness, is why most foreigners view Swedes as being timid.
This is the reason why Swedes are their happiest in a relationship. There are other motivations for the behavior that thyra10 described. I have myself adopted a number of these behaviorisms, but for other reasons.
For example; I want girls to make the first move because it shows a degree self-confidence that I find is generally lacking from Swedes. Thyra10; Great article.
HOW TO APPROACH GIRLS IN SWEDEN Pt.2
Loved it. My personal opinion about dating website is that you are specifically looking for a relationship, you anticipate, you have expectations after seleting a possible candidate; which would be therefore completely the opposite of the cool and patient attitude described in this post. Unless I am missing something? Dating sites help us there.
Oh, you definitely are missing something. I never described us as cool. I described us as shy or socially awkward as one of the commenters translated it into. You like meeting new people, trying new restaurants, etc, and dating provides a framework for that. No, I would think that Americans also have a billion different ways of meeting that special one and all the not-so-special-ones but I was caught by surprise by all the dating rules when I lived in California a while back. I never could understand why he was supposed to open my car door or pay for my food - and I had NO idea what he expected in return.
Dating as a social activity - meeting new people and trying out new restaurants - sounds like fun but I think I would have to ask for guidance before I jumped into it. And Scandinavian men might be surprised or even slightly offended if you tell them they should forever be the door men of the women in their lives. It all boils down to gender equality. Tit for tat, if you want. Of course not all Finns are so polite.
Not at all. There are assholes for every train and some are even left on the station Finglicism. Fun article, I enjoyed it. As a swede I have to say that point 9 is some kind of utopian wish.
In reality if I or my girl or anyone I know spent the night at, especially in the same bed as a friend of the sex they were interested in.
There would be a shitstorm waiting if they told their loved one about it. And really, if there was just one big bed and you were two people - would you sleep on the floor? Two people in one bed does not necessarily equal sex in these parts of the world. Ja, Danmark er nok det mest flirtende land i Skandinavien.
You are quite right about the things here, and I assume you exaggerate a little bit to make the differences clearer for foreigners. But the sleeping with a friend of the opposite gender I disagree on. I would not tolerate that, and I know most of my friends wouldnt either.
We might have a different type of friends of course, but I wouldnt say that the sleeping part is something that is true for all scandinavians. And I know that I always find it weird when I see American movies where he has to sleep on the floor and she has this huuuuuge bed to herself. To me, being in the same bed does not equal sex.
Well, to put some balance in here, I can tell you that I have no issues with my gf sleeping in her friends beds. It has happened several times, even with her ex, which has become a good friend of mine since I met her. I have friends whose relationship would never survive this, but I just wanted to say it happens.
And further, this post is excellent. Spot on.
As a guy who found his girl in my bed one morning, a girl who just never left and is still here three years later, I totally relate to your rules. Keep in mind that this is purely fun. No ill feelings between any of the participants, no aggression, maybe just a bit of good natured embarrassment.
It can also be too kind favors. Keep in mind the lack of clear definition in this game, there has never been a actual number of points given. If you easily change your plans to fit your partners schedule enough grunting may get you out of the incoming points gives you some points. Some of you are just missing the point here. Yes they are awkward. They are extremely awkward in bringing up their feelings - if they have any!
One comment above says that Scandinavian girls cheat. There is not perfect formula here when it comes to this. I must admit that I was quite surprised at how much my tiny little blog post mainly written for friends around the world suddenly gained a lot of attention. I lived in Australia for a year and I found them to be ugly drunks and dirty people. I have been married to a Norwegian man for 4 years now,who is stubborn and strong but loving and kind.
He is not cold nor does he drink very much at all,to Swedish women he was and did drink to bed them,and procreate ,lived together for awhile then it dissolved.
Want the on them? They will marry outside the Scandanvian countries especially Canadians or Americans,in fact I have randomly met these happily married couples quite frequently in this northern Swedish town. That sounds a lot like North America campus life to me. You never heard of spring break or girls gone wild?
Trust me I married a Northman who did presue me and talk to me every dam day,maybe they need more mental stimulation then the sucking in of air for an acknowledgement. Oh, we Scandinavians do successfully marry outside of Scandinavia but I do feel we sometimes need to come with warning labels. The 2 are not the same. My Northman comes from very old stock, and I did not find him he found me. Sounds like campus 20 something drunken messing about, which goes on all over the world.
And so saying there was a strip bar opened up not to far away and the locals fought like mad to close it and the uproar was heard all the way down to Stockholm, so much for that nudity open mindedness. Or is it sexuality that throws you off?
I think you are speaking for 20 some maybe a few 30 yr olds that have not grown up yet to be drunk constantly and sleep with whoever they stumble into bed with, which i repeat is more of an American thing to do.
Or how they show up and embrace you and bring food and hand made woolies? And if they are so stunted to chat or make conversation when not drunk what is Fika? Nudity is a beautiful thing and a natural thing - not something for people to buy IMO. But I listen to people of all ages and tried to sum up their experiences. And yes, there are open hearts all around. I never said the opposite. And I love A Frog in the Fjord. OTTAR that states that love shops should be banned cuz the shops are bad for our minds and future.
Clearly without thinking that theese are safe arenas to buy safe protection and help aids for thoose who actually needs this. I hardly know what Ottar is or if they even exist. Sexuality in dance form has been around since B. Thats not honest thats passing disease. You do not speak for the general population, I have shown this blog to a few SN friends now they think you are painting an unjust portrait of them and neglecting to mention how loving they are and how passionate they can be.
You need to get out more and be abroad yourself to see what it is really like in the rest of the world, then come home to warm cuddles here, honestly I have never been held or cuddled this much with a man since my father when i was 4.
I adore the warm nature of these people. Maybe we should just agree to disagree. This blog post was never intended as a serious portrayal of all Scandinavians on this planet. Just a bit of fun. It seems to me that you somehow feels attacked on behalf of your hubby here. Try this: show it to him, and see how he responds.
You might be surprised by the reaction. As a Norwegian male I can tell you that this fits me and my friends perfectly with a broad brush, obviously. We have sex when we feel like having sex. I am sure Thy can speak for himself in reply to me. Karry Arvag, you need to grow a sense of humor. As a Norwegian who has travelled extensively and lived in Australia, i find it to be very true. Exactly my point. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Show self-respect and ooze with self-esteem - and nobody will try to procreate with you and will marry you instead.
Insulting your friends in Australia is viewed as harmless banter.
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Please explain. Where did you live in Australia that had a bad environment? This is SOO true!!! This is how we do it! Both me and all of my friends are like this! Fun to read! Very interesting! Im a norwegain guy and this article is spot on!
I agree on all your points, maybe except for the one about sleeping and i mean sleeping, not sex together. But when Im in a relationship thats a no-no and I would take the floor or the couch if my friend was in a relationship too. But I would have to know and trust the guy. I would anything for a girl im in a relationship with. This seems pretty accurate to me, although some points are perhaps a bit exaggerated for the fun of making a caricature.
This stuff about sleeping without sex with friends needs an explanation, though.
Mar 29, London is a great place to find the best of Scandinavian culture. Here's where to find the best and most authentic Scandinavian shops, restaurants, cafes and bars around accessory-source.com: Time Out London Things To Do. Aug 31, Dating a Scandinavian I've always been fascinated by American date movies because it's like watching some weird rituals in some far-away country I don't know very much about. I've also lived in several non-Scandinavian countries for longer periods - USA, Greece, Germany and Italy, when I was young and single and thus in the dating. No.1 Free Scandinavian Dating & Social Networking Site. Meet Singles Seeking Love, Friendship, Romance & More.
I would be very surprised if sharing beds with friends of the opposite sex, even without sex, would be common while being in a relationship. But It can happen without being a problem. And it is not so strange for young people to stay over with friends regardless of sex, and without having sex, for several reasons. One is the tradition of going on weekend trips to cabins, often rather small huts where one has to be flexible if all guests to find a relatively comfortable place to sleep.
Another is the party customs. Norwegian parties do involve quite a bit of alcohol, and more often than not last into the early hours of the morning. As we do not allow ourselves to drive while intoxicated, and there are no buses or trams at 3 or 4 AM, and riding a Taxi home might easily cost USD or more, sleeping over is a common practice. And friends in their twenties usually rent or own small apartments, often with very crappy sleeping furniture. And at 3 or 4 PM, after perhaps ten beers, dancing and conversation for 6 hours or more, sleep and rest often take clear precedence over sex.
Thank you for adding these explanations.
What a great article! We probably have other constraints but I do agree with you on the rules portrayed by Hollywood. Just saying. Seeing this post now and thank you Americans for brainwashing us!!!
Still wrong. You have just met loosers who think about themselfes. There are many assholes even in Hollywood. Unless you have lived in Hollywood for a couple of years and also been dating more than people u have no right to make this statement. If a couple is as you describe, you cant make this be for ALL scandinavians. This was painted with a big brush and common sense tells you that I can not speak for 20 million Scandinavians.
What is your infatuation with Hollywood? S for that matter do you think they run the world? Drunkcold and bed hoppers. Roses and candles and gorgeous furs are more romantic then anything in the movies.
I feel bad for you that you feel this way and only see your view. Hey Thyra I was just wondering what age does this usually start at? What about the younger kids and teenagers? What do they do? How old to get into bars? Some bars allow 18 year olds and at some bars you have to be Back when I was still in HS 16 or 17, A bunch of friends were going upstate to a friends place. My mother would not let me or my sister to go. Even though my brother was going and she knew all our friends.
Her reason Boys will be there. I was wondering if and when your kids get to that stage, or any teenagers are they able to go do things like that. My kids have already started going to the cabin with friends. I can obviously not speak for everyone, and there were exceptions, but mostly this starts happening at aboutwith alcohol entering a bit later, I can also report that my brother 22 has the same impression.
This article has somewhat really just seemed to suggest that I am really not ever going to. I never meant to discourage you from speaking to Swedish women.
Great article! Thanks again for a very amusing article! Thank you for letting me know. Great blog, I found most points to be fairly accurate! I have no problems sleeping in the same bed as my male or female friends, and I would certainly not have a problem if my wife did either.
Thank you for the blog, it put a smile on my face! And with 20 million Scandinavians there should be some who would disagree. Anything else would be very odd. Yeah, my mother was very weird at times.
Go figure. So you were allowed to go to bars but not to a camping with friends? I like things just the way they are. I really enjoyed your article. I am a danish girl 21 and I can definitely recognize many of your points. My first boyfriend I met him at a club had more money than I did, so I he would often pay for both of us.
My second boyfriend friendship gone drunk made less money than I did, but he would still pay the largest amount a sometimes He would pay for movie tickets and I for the candy.
Their idea of dating is SO different and surprising in every way. As a french very young man turned 19 a few weeks agoI always felt kinda special about love. Now I want to get my diploma as soon as possible to live there haha. Hehe, maybe you do have a Scandinavian mind. Had to share it with him. If only he knew back then!
Scandinavian dating london
I had never been on a date until I got to Australia, and must say the ones I went on when I first got here were rather awkward. Great post, funny how things suddenly go viral! It is funny how things suddenly go viral. This was just meant as a bit of fun for a couple of hundred people and now more than This whole thing is completely wrong, and must be written by a very old person.
I am 17 years old and as i see it we do ask strangers out and guys do pay for the meal all the time. Also we flirt with strangers in bars etc. I work with year olds from all over Norway and I also see a change. Data from Gallup and Norsk Monitor suggests the same thing. Spmething happens around the time you move out from your parents.
I think it has something to do abpit the fact that you suddenly have a place to go to after a wild night out. At my age when most people live home with their parents, the few of us who live alone are often in relationships that happened soon after we moved out.
It allows foreigners like me to understand the specificities of Scandinavian and Nordic culture. I find it pretty sad. Love and sex, flirting, are I think an important and central ct of life. Not being able to be fully comfortable with that must make many people unhappy. How many will never dare to do it? How many missed opportunities, and in the end, how much missed happiness?
I am from France, and I believe like other Southern Europe countries, dating and courting is something important to us. It is something pleasant, beautiful, not a serious matter or on the contrary it can be a serious, a most important matter. You can call it a game, or a normal way to interact. It is fun, both for guys and for girls. I believe they less have to wait for ages that the guy will do the first move.
I heard some foreigners saying French girls were difficult to understand. If we have of course shy guys who wont make any move, girls that are not afraid to make the first move, most of the time, the guy is expected to answer the signals of the lady, and make the move. French society remains quite conservative in terms of gender role, but it is evolving. About dating, there are no clear rules.
Holding the door or paying the drink is not a prerequisite, many guys and girls consider it ok, but perhaps an equal part consider it a bit outfashioned. Further information. How do we collect information from you? The main way we obtain information about you is when you Register or ate your Profile. What type of information is collected from you?
How is your information used? To display your profile, show your account in search results, top banner, email matches etc.
Who has access to your information? The first is simply putting your best foot forward. Just like you will not outright lie at a job interview or would you? The key is to twist the relevant information in a very flattering way.
Another job seeking example to illustrate:. You lost your job and you have been unemployed for a year. You tell your future employer about the community work you did, the courses you took to improve your skills, and the freelance jobs you took up. You embellish the truth and use nice phrases. Another strategy that will help in that domain is self-irony.
Either way, all jerks take themselves super seriously. Only 13 to go. Tinder feels like a game because it is a game. You can meet awesome one-night stands on Tinder. You might meet the mother of your children. Other Scandinavian dating sites are more grown-up. They focus on starting and nurturing meaningful relationships. Your typical Tinder smash is not a meaningful relationship. Swipe right, chat with a lot of girls, have fun, use condoms, and all that other stereotypical advice.
We love International Cupid. Main differences:. These days everyone and their mom is on Tinder. International Cupid targets a particular niche.
The huge perk here is distance-independent dating. On Tinder, you can swipe within a larger radius. Ultimately, though, most women have the default 50 miles. They will not be looking outside of that.
Meet and Date Scandinavian Singles Worldwide. Search Scandinavia Singles from Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and Iceland. Browse Scadinavian Photo Personals and Connect With Your compatible dating Matches through our Local and Worldwide Online Dating Network. It's FREE to maintain a profile with 10 photos, reply to emails, wink, search and much more! Aug 27, I am sure Thy can speak for himself dating dating to me. Karry Arvag, london need to grow a sense london humor. As a Norwegian who has travelled extensively and lived in Australia, i find it to be very true. Also, Karry, since you used A Frog in the Fjord the a reference scandinavian, scandinavian you should read this post.
On International Cupid, members are already into the long-distance meet-cute idea. They are prepared for the ups and downs of a relationship with a foreigner. And, in most cases, women on International Cupid have also thought about or are even in the process of relocating. It may be hard to get the same commitment out of your Tinder hook-up. The more you pay, the more you value stuff. Think about it. Duolingo is free and most people ditch it in the first few days.